Straight paths.

Doors that I depended on being open are closing and doors that I expected to be opened have not yet. 

So while things I thought I was called to in this moment are no longer there and things I am sure I am called to do are not yet happening. 

I'm kind of stuck in the midst of a lot of closed doors with not a lot happening and not a lot i can do about it. 

Being in between a finised season and a season I am waiting for is not the ideal place I would like to be. 

I am usually I planner. I like to not only have a plan A and B but I would ideally like to have plans all the way to Z, just so I know I have things covered. 

In the space of about a month things changed before I had any time to properly prepare for them or understand what it would all look like.

Basically I lost a job today which means a decent pay cut and a lot more spare time. 

Funny thing is I am ok with it. 

It means changing how I do life in this season and learning to slow down a little. 

It means not being constanstly moving and busy. 

It means being still.

However the second I heard the news I started planning what I could do about it and planning how I could fix it or change it. 

My first instinct was to lean on my own understanding. 

And then suddenly I just felt like I shouldn't actually do anything about it. 

Which means more then ever learning to trust God when I have no idea what will happen next. 

It means learning to wait and not taking a step anyway just so I know I'm still moving. 

It means actually trusting him with all my heart. 

The thing is everything about life is fickle, nothing lasts, nothing ever stays the same. 

We are surrounded by so many variables with God remaining the only constant thing. 

Which brings me to this verse: 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV)

To me it's saying a few things

It's talking about trusting God with all your heart, not just a little part and then with the rest trusting in yourself or others or what you have in life. 

It's talking about not leaning on your own understanding not depending on what you know, cos God does not always reveal everything to us. 

But it's the last bit that gets me because it says submit your ways to The Lord and he will MAKE your paths straight. 

Not he will always keep your paths straight all the time. 

Or he will show you how to make them straight. 

But it's after you submit and surrender your ways to him that he makes then straight. 

It's after you trust him that he shows you why you need to. 

And it means that it's ok if your paths do not look straight right now.