I was reading John 17 and decided to read a devotion on it to help me better understand to context and how it apply's to my life etc.
I came across the question: do you have special times reserved only for praying?
And I had to answer no, I don't even have times reserved for seeking God, for studying his word or for even just reading it!
I do read his word and I do pray. But it's not a priority as it should be and I wonder why I struggle so much with flesh and sin and not feeling close to God.
I find it hard to focus in worship and even giving him my best for just one song is an effort! What? Worship and effort...
I cannot sit through the preaching or take notes or contribute in connect discussions...
I find serving is making me weary and frustrated..
I avoid fellowship more often then I seek it out..
Even as I write this I feel shocked and even I little ashamed at where this has ended up!
I am so caught up with the dream that God has placed on my heart, that I have failed to place God on my heart.
When he should never have been moved from there.
Something has to change.
I need to actively be putting more of him into my heart and life, instead of him just being around about in my world.
I have the hunger and the passion, I just listened to a song that made my soul ache for him like nothing else, yet just last night he called me to worship him and I resisted!
So many things in my world have led me here.
I am inspired by The beautiful Mumma I have been blessed with who gets up every morning, puts on worship and just talks to God.
She just talks to him and commits her day to him, prays for us and thanks him for her life!
So in my journey it's time to pray!
Time to set aside time to pray.
Time to seek his face like my life depends on it because it actually does.
