Dependent.

If there is one word I really do not like. 

It would be "dependent"

Here's what it means: 

1. dependent - relying on or requiring a person or thing for support, supply, or what is needed

2. dependent - contingent on something else

3. dependent - being under the power or sovereignty of another or others

It just sounds weak to me. 

To be honest I'd rather not. 

I don't really love letting other people do things for me, I mean I do, if I really need to. 

I try my best to avoid asking for help. 

I try to do everything for myself. 

I rely on myself a lot.

I guess I learnt to be independent early on. 

I had younger sisters who I helped look after. 

I came home after school alone. 

I learnt to cook so my Mum let me cook for the family. 

I moved out of home at an earlier age then almost all my friends. 

While these are not terrible qualities, they left me with myself as my number one source for everthing. 

God doesn't want me to live like that. 

He wants me to depend not only on myself. 

It still rubs me the wrong way. 

But it's all I am reading lately, it's coming up in conversations and I find myself having to depend on something or someone other then myself. 

Little by little things that I have been relying on such as my income, my own information about things are no longer enough. 

So I'm having to learn to be dependent. 

Firstly on him. 

Secondly on those he has placed in my world. 

I read all these verses that say "apart from me, you can do nothing" 

"Lean not on your own understanding" 

And "the one who called you is completely dependable" 

But then I keep trying to do it on my own. 

I keep relying on my own resources. 

Truth is, it's not enough and it never will be. 

Truth is, I cannot do this alone. 

I need Him. 

He created me so I would depend on Him and He created us for each other. 

So being dependent isn't actually weak, it means doing what he has called us to do together. 

It means being selfless and humble. 

It means walking in unity. 

It means having one cause. 

It means playing my part. 

And it means we are stronger together then we could ever be on our own.