Moments of Love.

I don't why it took so long for me to Love them. 

I mean to actually enjoy them and their little personalities and quirks. 

I watch everyone else around me fall for them in an instant, gush over them and kiss them endlessly, as they should have. 

Meanwhile I had to keep reminded myself that they needed more then anything to be held. 

It didn't come naturally to me. 

Two months in and they felt somewhat like strangers. 

Maybe it's because I knew it would only be a short time. 

Too afraid to get too attached, I thought it would be so hard to let go. 

Everyone kept saying how much they'd missed them when they moved on. 

I honestly felt ok about it. 

I was so focused on doing it "right" and getting it all done that I forgot to just breathe and enjoy the moments as they happen. 

So taken back by every decision needing to be the right one lest I cause them more damage. 

Overwhelmed still by how fragile the situation was and how at any moment it could change. 

Basically my Job was not to screw them up and I still wondered how I was allowed to be the one with their lives in my hands.. 

Then moments like the ones pictures here happened. 

Their faces lit up. 

They laughed. 

They got upset when they couldn't see me. 

Moments that made me want to hold them forever.

Just a subtle reminder that my place in their lives is far greater then just feeding and clothing them. 

Far far above that is loving them with an unconditional love, and making sure they know it. 

It's creating memories that hopefully they will remember. 

Suddenly the weight seems a whole lot lighter. 

Suddenly I'm starting to actually Love them. 

As terrifying as that sounds now I know down the track it will be so worth it.