“If a man has a hundred sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won’t he leave the ninety-nine others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders. When he arrives, he will call together his friends and neighbors, saying, ‘Rejoice with me because I have found my lost sheep.’ In the same way, there is more joy in heaven over one lost sinner who repents and returns to God than over ninety-nine others who are righteous and haven’t strayed away! (Luke 15:4-7 NLT)
I heard this read out today and it kind of hit me in a way it hasn't before.
I don't get it, he had a hundred sheep,what's one more, it's not like he needed more.
And how would he even notice it was gone?
So I kinda had this conversation with God about it in my head because I couldn't get past the fact that he left the people he already had to find me.
I sometimes still can't fathom it.
How did he even notice I was gone?
Why did it even matter?
It's not like I am better then any if those people.
It's not like I actually got lost either, I walked away.
I left on purpose, I left cos I was mad that I was broken.
I left cos I didn't want him to fix me.
By the time I realized I wanted to come back, then I was lost.
Kind of reminds me of the verse we are singing that says "my feet had wondered far, but now I'm where you are"
Because the thing is I went so far away from God that I thought I could not possibly find my way back, so I gave it up in a way.
He could have left me there, he had sheep already, he had people that Love and serve him, he had people that stuffed up less and could fulfill their callings better then I could.
But instead of leaving me, He came for me.
He looked for me until he found me.
Instead of rebuking my sin and adding to my shame, he rejoiced over me.
I actually do not think I will ever get my head around it.
The fact that he already had people but found me so important that he same back for me!
No comments:
Post a Comment