Grace

“The LORD is merciful and gracious, Slow to anger and abounding in compassion and lovingkindness.”

PSALM 103:8 AMP

Isn't it just like God to be gracious in our worst moments? 

For some reason I was thinking about this last night. 

How many moments He showed immense kindness in the middle of my anger. 

How many times he showed compassion amongst my worst mistakes. 

How he Loved even while I was facing away from Him. 

So many times when I had been upset with God about how things turned out, about prayers that He did not answer in the way I'd been expecting or about things I did not get that I thought I needed. 

I used to be so fearful of feeling those things towards him, as if He'd be so mad at me because of it. 

This one specific time though, His kindness showed up in the middle of one of those Moments. 

I remember being so mad, I'm not even all that sure why. 

Must have been a big deal hey? 

I'd been angry for months! 

At everyone and at everything. 

I'd made so many mistakes out of that anger that I was so sure I could not turn and face God again. I had no explanation for my self destruction other then how I was feeling and that just wasn't good enough. 

I was leading in youth because of course it was better to just hide what was going on them to face it. 

And this one night one of the kids came up and said her parents need to talk to me. 

I was terrified, I'd clearly done something wrong and they found out. 

They obviously knew everything that was going on and now I'm going to be in trouble. 

But I went out anyways. 

I walked out of the gate and they gave my a little box, just to say thankyou for leading their daughter. I opened it and there was a key inside. I was so confused until I looked over and saw a little red car, my first car. 

Gifted to me by a family who will honestly never know how much it meant then and still means now. 

Blessed in my worst moment. 

I spent the next half hour crying in that car because nothing about how I was living my life said that I deserved that car. 

I expected at that point nothing from God. Surely my actions meant He was angry with me and was not going to help me out of the mess I'd made. 

But He just did what He does best. 

Showed me kindness and grace. 

And year and years on I still remember it and thank Him for it. 

Years later I know that it's just like Him to do something like that.