Fight like hell.

"All things are difficult before they are easy" - Thomas Fuller 

Read this today and while it didn't make it ok that this is so much harder then it probably should be, it made more sense. 

You know for sure that your living in the breakthrough when you have to fight like hell to stay there. 

I knew for the longest time what I was called to do, I prayed and believed for it for years and years. Then I had to work for it, I worked harder then I have ever worked for anything else. I knew this wasn't going to be easy. 

I had no idea how many curve balls would come from every side while I tried to focus my everything on these two precious lives that have been placed in mine. 

Had no idea how hard it was to recover from illness when you had no time to actually rest. 

Had no idea how many buttons and sore spots a two year old could push, or how many bruises they could give you for that matter, Yes I mean actually bruises. 

I had no idea how badly my body would react to stress. 

How many people would tell me I could give up, and I could. 

But I will not. 

I've had this conviction for a while now, it's the hardest one to keep yet. 

It's the conviction to stay. 

Sounds easy but it's been the hardest thing for me in this season. 

To not give up, to not throw everything away because everything is so incredibly hard. 

It's the first thing the enemy would want us to do. 

To admit you can't and give in. 

Sometimes it's the first thing that whispers in my ear before I really listen and hear His voice. 

I Hate that. 

But I will not listen to it. 

Tell me to run, tell me it's not worth it, tell me I can not and I should not but I'll still be fighting for the same thing. 

Because it's worth it, because they are worth it and because He is worth it. 

I faught to get here and I will fight like hell to stay.