Like clay.

But the pot he was shaping from the clay was marred in his hands; so the potter formed it into another pot, shaping it as seemed best to him. Then the word of the Lord came to me. He said, “Can I not do with you, Israel, as this potter does?” declares the Lord. “Like clay in the hand of the potter, so are you in my hand, Israel. (Jeremiah 18:4-6 NIV)

I read in a book this week that while the potter is making something he never once takes his hands off the clay.

I watched a few YouTube video's and found myself fixated on how they mould a pot or vase or something equally as beautiful out of what was once I hard lump of clay. 

Not once did I see them have to force or push it into position. 

There are no sudden movement or else the clay would be marred and the potter would have to begin again. 

The whole thing looks so gentle and graceful. 

Within the same week I realized something about myself that I was not very happy to discover. 

I am a bit of a control freak.

I was not always the kind of person who needed to have things a certain way, in fact I was a lot more layed back. 

I did not always respond to things in the way I am finding that I do now. 

I saw myself ever so slowly becoming more particular about things that in the big picture don't even matter. 

I would find myself stressing if something did not go the way I had expected it to go in my head and flipping out over things that do not actually effect my life as drastically as I feel they do. 

Anything that was uncertain or unclear would send my stress levels through the roof. 

I constantly felt unsettled and anxious. 

And I could not shake it. 

I could see I was being irrational but it didn't ease my anxiety. 

I could not seem to change the way I was feeling. 

So I started reading up on it and that's when I discovered that piece of information.  

It just make this verse make a whole lot more sense to me. 

That regardless of what my life looks like now and how out of shape everything looks from my perspective, Gods hand is literally on it every single step of the way and like the potter he can see what the end result is supposed to look like. 

Often this looks nothing like what I think it should. 

Still he knows what he is doing. 

If I am to be like clay in his hands, I am to be moldable and flexible. 

Not so he can force or push me into place, but so he can gently mould me into what he needs me to be.