Jesus.

I Love that he was the only one who could heal me without hurting me.
All my remedies had quickly become more pain.
All my easing had quickly become more hurt.

Though I could not breath a single breathe without feeling the weight of what it had become.
If I let it go all that was inside would slowly seep into the visible.

Until I woke up and saw.
That all my easing had captured me.
Made me its slave.
It would have destroyed me.

When in a single breath.
He paid for my freedom.
Rivers of living water.
The unlocking of myself.
And he had healed me.

I feel good, na na na na nah

So I've started eating heathy and working out.... Again! 

I know that this is the thousandth time I have said this.. But I think it will last. 

It all started when I went to P!NKS concert.. I watched her run around,flip in the air and fly, she was flying for goodness sakes and all while she was singing, it looked like so much fun!  I was literally blown away by her fitness level, flexibility and how great she looks. I mean I cannot even run 50 meters without getting puffed! I just kept thinking I wanna be able to do that! 

And then I got the realization that I can, well apart from the singing bit. 

God gave me this body and he has stuff for me to do on this earth, I'm going to need to be healthy to do it. Once I start doing foster care, do I want to be able to run around after a little one that has been entrusted to me? Yes! Do I want to not feel tired every moment of the day? Yes! Do I want to feel awesome about myself? Yes! 

So I took action, made a plan, got moving and actually listened to my body. I am going to be all God created me to be! That includes my health.

It's been just over a week and I feel great and in turn make an effort to look great too! 

Lifter of my head.

"When I'm lost you pursue me lift my head to see your glory, Lord of all, so beautiful" 

I Love these words and everytime I hear them I am having this same moment with God.

As a father would with his child, he is lifting my face to look at his and regardless of where I am or how I am feeling I am won over by him. 

It's like time and time again he is reminding me that he makes up for everything. 

What my life lacked as a small child I now have in abundance through him. 

And what I do not have in an earthly father I have in him ten fold and it just reminds me of how perfect and pure his love is for me. 

Dreams come true..

I am watching God make my dreams come true before my very eyes, still in awe of how he is doing it. 

At this point in my life I have absolutely no doubt of what I am meant to do with my life and why God created me.

The more I take steps towards where I believe I need to be the more I have the sense that I am called for this.  

Stage one of the process to become a foster carer is complete and I am so grateful to God for how far he has brought me. It's a long process and in some ways I am so unprepared, but that where trusting God comes in I guess. 

Now I can continue to trust him to provide everything else I need, and I know he will. 

He's good like that! 

Alabaster Flask.

I have recently applied what we have been talking about at Sisterhood "you don't know the half of it" to many of the passages I read in the word. 

This is a personal favorite of mine in the gospels, even more so because its written differently depending on where you read it. 

You know the one with the Alabaster Flask of perfume! 

It's found in Matthew 26, Mark 14 and Luke 7. 

This woman Broke all she had and poured it out on Jesus! She wept on him and kissed him! She was so venerable in that moment but she did not care.. All she cared about was giving what she had to Jesus. 

She was no afraid to be  broken in front of him, nor worried about what people would say. 

She was completely focused on him in that moment. 

I wonder what she was thinking when she payed for the perfume? Was that her plan all along? 

Is that what she had in mind?

Had she battled with herself beforehand as to whether she was worthy, or whether it was enough? Whether he would accept her? Was she good enough to be in his presence? 

Was she afraid that he would turn her away? 

What was her story that deemed her to be a sinful woman? 

And where did she go when she left? 

We know none of these details, all we know is that she broke her perfume and poured out all she had on Jesus! 

All she had.... 

What's your alabaster jar? 

All I had was my story, unfinished and broken. 

And God had everything I needed. 

Freedom. 

Once I gave him my everything, as broken as it was. That's when he changed my story and made it his, he finished it and made it whole. 

Out of my brokenness his fragrance flowed. 

Call me to come to you!

Call me to come to you! 

Matthew 14:24

There is a storm going on, not just a little wind or rain..

Like a full on waves and boat sinking storm..

I imagine that it's dark because if always is in a storm, and they are in a little fishing boat being pounded by waves and struggling to hold on...

And through that storm Jesus is walking on water, he does not calm

The storm before he walks to them, 

He walks through the storm, why? Because he is... 

Now logic dictates that it would be safer in the boat then on the water amongst the storm.. 

But when Jesus comes through the storm to them. 

Peter asks to walk with him on water. 

"Call me to come to you" he says. 

I think he does this because he has the revelation that Jesus is actually safer then the boat, that of he is going to be anywhere it's with Jesus. 

Isn't that the kind of faith we should have in him? 

Like no matter what's going on our world and how crazy it seems to be, that we would want to be whereever Jesus is, even if that mean stepping out into the storm. 

Sometimes when life get rough we can make safe places for ourselves, we create "boats" because we don't want to sink, I know I am very good at this.

But God didn't call us to live Safe. 

He called us to be his hands and feet and sometimes that means stepping out, but we are never stepping out alone. Be assured that if your stepping into a storm he is right there with you! 

If you only knew..

If you only knew.. 

Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.” (John 4:10 NIV84)

Jesus said to the woman "If you knew? 

I Love this passage for so many reasons, but I think that one question just gets me the most.. 

Isn't that like a our life though? 

If we only knew the gift of God and who he is, how much more would we ask him for living water, as in things in the eternal? 

We are so often unaware is this woman was of who is actually in our presence, and how much power he holds. 

We question him without even thinking about the weight of what could happen with him in our presence. 

If we only knew...

How many more would be saved? 

How much more would we be whole? 

How many more dreams would be pursue? 

If we only knew the power of him... 

Sometimes when the people in my life struggle or do not have a relationship with God, I think of this encounter...

I want to say to them "if only you knew him like I do... 

"if only you knew what he could do in your life. 

I am constantly using the line "you don't even know what it's like there!" 

Mostly to my father who is very against God, church and well... Me! 

I guess this verse is my heart for those who don't know, because if they knew they would ask and he would give them living water.