I keep seeing words like everlasting and unfailing.
Phrases like "his love endures", "you are forever" and "God lasts".
It's in the word, it's in the songs we are singing and it's now in my conversations.
He keeps reminding me of his permanence in my life, that we are in this for good.
It blows me away how much he knows me, how much he knew that this would bring comfort to me.
I love things that last, I like things to be settled and I like certainty.
This just confirms that if I am in this for good he will be there the whole way, because it sometimes scares me that I have nothing to go back to.
It actually turned my life upside down when I found Jesus, I left everything I knew behind and ruined so many relationships that cannot go back to being the same as they were.
I cannot go back to my old life, I cannot be the person I was before or do what I did before.
I cannot undo it or take it back even if I wanted to.
I cannot erase what I have seen or heard or pretend it didn't all happen.
I couldn't go back to my old life, as easy as sometimes that seems and as appealing it can be, it's actually not possible.
And as scary as that is, it's also the best thing ever.
It means I am in this for good, it means he really is forever.
